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RESILIENCY
SKILLS FOR THE 21ST CENTURY:
How to Add Life to
Your Years and Years to Your Life!
Part 2
Jack
N. Singer, Ph.D.
This article is the second in a series of
articles, written exclusively for EXPERT
MAGAZINE readers, and
directed at showing you how to master the stresses in your
life---permanently!
Recall
from the first installment that symptoms of stress include a whole host of
symptoms, including irritability, impatience, difficulty concentrating or
sleeping, procrastinating, wondering what meaning your life has, frequent
use of sarcasm and a short fuse.
Also recall that events in your life do not directly cause stress, or any other emotion, attitude or mood, for that matter. The emotion or attitude that results from an event is strictly caused by what you say to yourself about that event--your internal dialogue.
| Unfortunately,
most of us have been
pre-programmed to think negatively the majority of the time.
Well-meaning parents, teachers, uncles, aunts and even siblings
(who actually may not have been so well-meaning) have filled us with
negative conditioning about how we're not smart enough, pretty enough,
athletic enough... or how we are the wrong sex, race, religion, etc., so we shouldn't try to accomplish or achieve our dreams. |
Internal medicine specialists and family practice physicians estimate that at least 65% of their patients actually do not have an underlying medical condition causing their symptoms! It is stress related factors...... |
Research
shows that the average youngster in this country has been given such
negative programming 148,000 times by the time he/she reaches 18, versus
only 4000 or so positives during that same time frame...(positives like,
"Go for it," "You can do anything you set your mind to
do," and "You are as smart, handsome, gifted, athletic, etc. as
the next person.")
Negative
programming has kept us from taking risks, trusting our abilities, or
thinking "outside of the box. "Safety"
for most of us lies in repeating old, self-defeating habits, rather than
"risking" changes in our habits.
This is why approximately 77% of our self-talk is negative and why we
develop fears of change, taking risks, and losing everything. We constantly
worry about what others think about us, and often lose our self-confidence
and self-esteem.
The
good news in all of this is that no matter how unfortunate your history, no
matter how much you have had negative people pounding warnings and their own
fears into your brain, and no matter how many times you inadvertently
reinforced those unfortunate habits yourself through your own
self-defeating, fear-producing internal dialogue...it can all be overcome
and you can live a much healthier, more productive and (for the most part)
worry and stress-free life!
YOUR
THOUGHTS, STRESS & YOUR HEALTH
You
and I are much more likely to suffer an ulcer or have irritable bowel
syndrome, or high blood pressure than a gazelle on the African Plains is.
That's because the gazelle's nervous system is brilliantly adapted
for handling life and death emergencies, such as a lion springing out of the
brush and giving chase to it. That
nervous system switches on immediately, digestion stops, blood leaves the
internal organs to gorge the large muscles of the legs to produce maximum
speed and efficiency, blood pressure increases rapidly to deal with the
demands for blood in the brain and external organs, sugar pours into the
blood stream for quick bursts of energy, and adrenalin is released so that
the gazelle is completely alert and focused on escape and ultimate survival.
If
everything goes as planned (assuming the gazelle is not injured, weak or
sick), it escapes, that nervous system
As
humans we rarely (thankfully) are faced with someone trying to kill us.
We don't have to stalk and wrestle down our food.
We don't have to run for our lives.
But the way we interpret everyday
events...from traffic jams, to inconsiderate clients, to our teenagers'
behaviors...leads to that same nervous system clicking on countless times
every day!
In
our self-talk we use stress producing phrases, like, "What if that
person is angry at me today?" or "I should have known better
than..." or "I can't let her get away with that...she needs to
know who is in charge here!" or "The market will never turn around
and my clients will hate me." These are thoughts that the gazelle never has, but these are
the thoughts that we humans allow to go unchecked in our minds.
So for our nervous systems, each of these thoughts sets off a chain
reaction very similar to that which happens in the gazelle running for its
life. Except for us, these
thoughts occur hundreds of times a week and so we are constantly switching
on and off this vital nervous system.
If
your blood pressure rises to 180/120 when someone points a gun at you, that
is being adaptive...but if it rises to 180/120 in congested traffic, at the
bank where a clerk is slow,
Besides
blood pressure-related cardiac problems, think about the potential
physiological consequences of blood leaving the digestive tract every time
you worry yourself, of sugar pouring into your bloodstream over and over
because you are angry about your teen's behavior, adrenalin being released
every time you try to please folks who can't be pleased...these events all
have physiological consequences, from ulcers...to heart failure...to
gastritis...to diabetes...to insomnia.
Internal
medicine specialists and family practice physicians estimate that at least
65% of their patients actually do not have an underlying medical condition
causing their symptoms! It is
stress related factors (caused by the self-talk you use every day) which
causes the bulk of our medical symptoms!
And since most physicians do not have (or choose not to spend) the
time to ask you about your life, how you interpret various situations, how
you deal with events, etc., they simply treat your symptoms (usually with
drugs), while the root cause is untouched and continues to fester.
Stay
tuned for the next installment, where Dr. Singer will explain what you can
do to change your thinking habits, and therefore your health and stress
levels for the rest of your life!
Dr. Jack Singer is a
Consulting Psychologist, Professional Speaker and Trainer for Fortune 500
companies, associations and
individual firms from Miami to Malaysia. His self-help articles appear in
medical and human resources journals and he is a frequent guest on MSNBC,
FOX SPORTS and radio talk shows
throughout the U.S.
ExpertMagazine.com 2001